Friday, 27 June 2014

The Blind-I and the Touch

Once again I have changed the name of this technique I am developing with the help of collaborators Merv and Damon.

Choosing names for things is difficult, and also represents changes in the way that I am percieving what we are doing.

In yesterdays session, something strange happened.  For the first time we had a workshop attendee who did not find the processes that we are looking at relaxing or therapeutic in any way.  On the contrary, she found that she felt sick and dizzy, in either of the two roles.

This is useful as we are doing each of the three conditions for 10 minutes each, however when workshopping with others, perhaps I need to stick to 2 or 3 minutes per condition initially.  I considered starting with the Blind-I having their eyes open, however I don't think this would work.  Maybe initially, I may try this as an experiment.

In two weeks we will be workshopping this for the first time with a naive group (by naive I mean they won't have any previous experience or knowledge of the method), so this will be a good learning experience.


Back to this weeks session.

Having lost the person who felt sick and dizzy (she went off to stick booklets together instead), I quickly thought of a way that the group could incorporate all three of us.  As I had already brought some paper for people to write responses to the processes and experiences on, this gave a new opportunity for an 'observer' role.  As the two actors engaged in the processes of the task, the observer watched and wrote their responses onto a piece of paper.  After, the two actors also wrote their own responses.  Each condition was replayed 3 times, so that each person got a go at each role.

The written responses are all copied below.  As you will see, in the first condition, there is no observer.  This is because there were four people in this condition, so we didn't have an oserver, just two Blind-I's and two Touches.

Condition 1 - rooted

Blind-I

Interesting arm movememtn; complex arm positions/sequences.  Bendy, lop sided, bouncing back, light, dynamic equilibruim, interesting, light, strange, felt dizzy; what on earth am I doing now?  noisy breathing, waves, interpretaions, off-balance, movemet in stillness, unsure, pleasant, fabric rustling, relaxing, "Thing on a spring"; Holding the space

Touch

Locus of control; centre puppet; automaton; trust, responsiblity, caution, directing strings; Economy, swaying, mirror, sensitive, fun, frustration, gentlem movement, balance

Condition 2 - travelling

Observer
travel, finger move, traction, hard-prodding, off balance, moourous, playful/fun; flexion, statics v dynamics; flow --> point of attraction/retraction; joined, spirals; parting/complex; preparedness to touch, experimenter/focus balance; dance; thinking; noisy clothes; cautious mover; legs? measuring; footwork early on meandering and later on; stepping :) turning; damon looking confused at times? perturbed? pondering; finer/gradual changes; extra movements (too many steps)

Blind-I

Unnerving; off balance; unexpected; confused; interesting; mime-touch; confused; static or movement?  3 hands?  unsure of what to do!  how to interpret static or movemement; bit confused

Touch

Complex movements; mirroring; touching with various bodyparts (ooer); experimenting; balance; trying; frustration; responsible; inventive; experimental; playful

Condition 3 - dancing

Observer

Playful, dynamic, open, uplift, light floppy, jaunty (Pictures of You Pictures of Me song) play, footwork, faces, abandon in a good way ("Bewitched Carousel - dark music for creepy carnival"  Lloyd Mitchell)

Blind-I

Fun funny confusing, am I doing it right?  energy, playful bounce, toy

Touch

Fast, jerky, asynchronous, feeling your way , fun, fun, arhythmic, discovery


My dramatherapy supervisor has recommended I look up Laban and Gretowski.  I also have a book on Authentic Movement which I feel an urge to look at when time allows.  This is more dance/movement than drama strictly speaking, but given my own theory that drama is a catch all that incorporates all art form, especially the body based arts, then it can still come under dramatherapy.

However it may also be of interest to dance/movement therapists.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

The I that does not see (The Blind I and the Other)

Just the two of us today - tho a different two as Merv doing his day job.  This is Damon's first time after a long absence.  He's just finishing the accounts.

It's been a hectic afternoon, meetings, notes, phonecalls, endless to do lists and an eternity playing catch-up.

And this is why I do it all.  This funky little expressive movement/physical drama group.

I had expected about 6 people at this workshop.

There are 2 (including me).  Or will be when Damon gets in.

Drag heart out of shoes.  Place back in chest.  Survey the empty room.

I'm holding the space.  I'm holding the space for England. Cue national anthem.  Tears of gratitude and pride.  Or are those tears of rejection and disappointment?

Damon comes in.  He is dismayed at this lack of people.  How could they not come?  How could they not appreciate all of this great stuff we are doing?

I don't know either.

Anyway, we'd better get on.

As soon as I start to explain what I am working on, I am transported from the place of rejection and disappointment to a place of excited focus.  Am I mad?

Inside us all there is a blind I.  The I that does not see.  This is (are) the I that hears, smells, tastes, and feels.  These I's are often unnoticed.

In these workshops we attune ourselves to our other I's.  And to the other, you.  Mainly through touch.  But the other senses also have their place.  We hear people's clothing rustle, their bones suddenly click, sometimes a cough.  Sometimes we might smell them, depending if the have bathed or wear deodorant.  Taste ... no ... that's for another workshop.

So, with feet rooted firmly to the floor, and body in a neutral state of readiness, the Blind-I prepares to respond to gentle touch of the Other.

We negotiate our way through a series of touches, once the arm, then the shoulder, twice the back, front of the head.  The Other touches, and the Blind-I, eyes closed, feet rooted, sways gently.  Always returning back to neutral as soon as the touch is released.

We do this for 10 minutes each.  Yes, 10 minutes.  We use a timer.

As a guide, it's tempting to think you have to do lots of different interesting things, choices initially seem limited.  But the first condition, the rooted position, isn't about being interesting, it's about becoming attuned.  Same as when you are being the blind-I, you literally just kind of sway a bit, and move your arms up and down.  Maybe tilt your head.  But all the time you are attuning yourself to the touch of the Other, until you are so sensitive that it is barely necessary to make contact at all.

It's important to remember that this first bit isn't about being expressive.

It's about learning to feel, and to respond, so no cognitive thought is involved.  Stimulus, Response. Rest.  Stimulus Response Stimulus Response Rest.

As we discovered before, several factors interplay; expectation, intention, comprehension, interpretation, range of possible response, choice of responses.  And a deep feeling of focus, it's meditative, very relaxing.

We thought about tai chi.  Apparently people can touch people with chi, without actually touching them.  I know this is true because I've experienced it first hand.  However I understand that people have to train for years to be able to do this, so we aren't going to try here.  Well we did try a bit but it backfired, because the trying got in the way of succeeding.  As is the way with many of these spiritual pursuits.  Like trying to recover from mental illness.

Anyway, back to the subject.

We decided, in order to test our sensitivity (attunement) that the Other would move their touch slowly to the Blind-I, before baking contact.  We amused ourselves by wondering if it was possible to sense the approaching touch before contact, and once or twice, this did seem to happen.

Differences in touch included whether to touch with flat of hand, combined fingers or tip of one finger.  The experience of being touched was very different in each case.  The quality of the movement was different in response.

In the second, travelling condition, this was even more apparent.  the range of dynamics is greater, and the availability of complex responses increases.

At the end of each cycle, I felt my body brain coming to life and my head brain quietening.  It was deeply relaxing.  Very peaceful.

We didn't get to the third condition, the dance.

Save that for next time.

I'm glad we did the workshop after all.  It's always an experience.  I know what we are doing is experimental and not everyone's cup of tea, but I do hope that soon we will have a thriving group again.  In the meantime, I'm grateful to the few who do keep coming, even if this can't be every time.

It's always a learning experience, and deeply interesting.