Going deeper into the darkness and finding warmth

Approach the Hub.  Courteous Firmness with the Young People in the Doorway.  Enter Building.

Latch on Door.

Move Tables.  Hoover Floor.  Check Time.

2 Others arrive to join in.  There are now four.  This is exciting.  And nerve racking.  It's safer when no-one comes, really.

Check in.  How are you?  I'm fine/tired/nervous/glad to be here and lots of other things besides. Stories of mud, headaches, memories ...

New people mean we take longer to warm up.  We can't just race in.  We look around the room, check out details, things we hadn't noticed before.  Nuts on the door that look like nipples...

A switch that might explode if someone turns it on.  (They it, and it didn't).

Standing circle, we enter a physical warm up.  Taking a movement, sharing it, changing it at will, playing with it.  This is a playful group.  I like this group.  The movement gets tossed back and forth, like a blustery spring breeze.  We, the leaves and empty drinks cans, rattling about, chaotic semi-conductors.

Now, we are ready to begin.  The Blind and the Guide.  Like last week, but there are more of us, so we can continue the experiment, introducing random factors.

Dependent Variable - moving in response to a touch.
Independent Variable - touching

Equipment - 4 movements artists.  Each will in turn take roles of Blind or Guide, so that the affects of 'passive/active' personality factors, characteristic movement factors, practice and individual dynamics can be experienced.

In this kind of experiment, experienced is akin to introspectively studied, its the opposite from observed.  Data can only be reliably verified through repeated replication and discourse analysis.

The Blind - a physical performer who has their eyes closed.  All movement is initially directed by the Guide.  The Blind is a passive participant, and they have two purposes.  To return to their neutral position, and to move in response to the touch of the Guide.  At first the Blind's feet are firmly rooted to the floor.  Movement is minimal.  When they reach limit of their available move, they stop.  when the Guide releases the touch, the Blind returns to neutral.

The Guide - a physical performer who has their eyes open, and can see (unless they are in real life, blind, which would be a very interesting variable!).  They instruct the Blind's movements through touch.  Not push, just a touch, as light as is possible.  They need to become aware, through practice, of the Blinds range of movement, and of the clarity of their instruction.

No Blind/Guide dyad is the same.  The rules will change with each pairing.  Control brings responsibility and requires understanding.  Control will always be limited to the available range of moves and the interpretation of purpose.  Responsiveness needs acute senstivity to the purpose of the Guide, and also an awareness of ones own range of movement - otherwise trips and falls occur!

In the first condition, the Guide is rooted to the floor.  Their movements are limited.  Each physical performer takes turns to take on each role.  They interpret the rules as they go along - where the Guide touches, how the Blind responds.  What happens when the touch is released.  What happens in the moments - sometimes long moments, between touches?

It is at times frustrating, purposes, interpretations, things getting lost in translation, not knowing what it means to 'let go' and 'give up control', making up the rules then modifying them.

It is at times beautifully relaxing and absorbing.  Entrancing.  When the pair find a rhythm, feel the rules, the flow of the rhythm, become attuned to each other, something very special happens.  The Guide - the brain, initiator, knowing, sensitively instructing; the Blind, the body, receptive and aware, feeling, sensitively responding.

Time taken - 10 minutes, then swap roles.

In the second condition, the Blind can move their legs.  This frees them up a lot, and allows for a greater range of movements, and also a greater range of interpretations of intent and sensitivity/awareness of range of movements.  Trust becomes an issue, especially when there is more than one dyad active, it is not just the room, but other people that need to be negotiated.

Time taken - 7 minutes, then swap roles.  Time is less due to the fact that the session is coming to a close and I want to fit in the dance part at the end.

In the third condition, a second independent variable is introduced.  Music.  The movement, which has already been modified to accomodate travel, becomes a dance.  The Blind is allowed greater release, and not just freedom to interpret in a more individual way, but freedom to become more expressive.  The music gives a different energy.  The role of the Guide is now not to control, but to enable.  The Guide also participates in the dance.  However they still have a position of responsibility.

Experimenter bias - I deliberately made the larger performers (who happened to be male) the Guides, and the smaller performers ( who happened to be female) the Blinds.  This is because we only had time to do this once, and wouldn't be able to swap roles.  Due to having previous experience at this procedure, I know that I personally prefer it this way round.

Music - We played Steve Reich.  Minimalist.  Moody.

As the Blind, I felt wonderfully released.  I am sensitised by taking part in the previous conditions, and I am tuned in to the touch of the Guide, who I have partnered with several times before.  I have my eyes closed.  Like a pre-toddler, I feel that if I can't see anyone else, they can't see me.  I am released from inhibition.  I smile uncontrollably as I allow my body to move under the guidance of gentle touches, bending, swaying, turning, waving ... sometimes I stand still, untouched, anticipating the next move.  I am smiling.  Occasionally I trip over myself. I stand on my guides foot.  I haven't got a clue where I am in the room, and I don't really care.  It all comes to an end far too soon.

Results & conclusion
Are two experiences ever the same?  Our interpretations, our responses, our interactions with the processes that we have gone through are all very individual.  Each dyad experienced sense of self and other, and the partnership of these two elements, differently.  Buber may be relevant here.My anxiety levels have decreased, and I am experiencing relaxation and satisfaction.  I feel a closeness to my fellow participant-experimenters.  I have partnered with each of them in one way or another and feel grateful to them for sharing this experience with me.
The others in the group say that they feel relaxed.  It has been entrancing.

It is stripped back, basic stuff, and has endless possiblities.

We have reached the end.

We pick up our things and say our goodbyes.  We turn down the heating and off the lights.  Everyone leaves the building while I set the alarm.  The Young People are Gone.  It is silent.  The odd empty drink can and crisp packed has been undisturbed by the evening breeze.








'

Interactive sensitivity, communication, body awareness.

Where do we begin?

We begin by remembering.  We want a bit of structure for this.  We don't need much, not like building a wall, where everything needs to be solid, well grounded and measured.

We are building an idea.

We need a few whispy strands of purpose.  Anything more definite would be limiting.

We are after all researchers in drama.  Everything we do and feel is physical, but physical laws would sentence us to imprisonment.  Cells formed of the very categories we would strive to define.

So, for now, we ask for a web to catch memories, and on which we may hang new ideas, to see how well they fit together.

Two spiders, in a room.  Want to build a web to catch memories.

What do we remember?  As we remember, we build, the web begins to become sticky, and structure emerges.

We remember touching, and responding. creating simple rules for a game of feeling (a touch) and responding (through movement).  One is blind - eyes shut.  They are the body.  The other guides.  They are the mind.  They can see, but this is irrelevant for anything but basic health and safety requirements of the session. 

The blind stands neutral, feet rooted.  The guide touches the blind, gently.  the blind feels the touch and moves in the direction of the touch, until they can move no more without losing balance.

Already we are bringing in new rules - "finding the game".

the blind can only move with a straight body if the guide uses only one hand.  If the guide brings in the other hand, then the blind can bend, bringing in a whole new array of movement.

Guiding the arms is nice, a light, very free and expressive array of movements.  Both arms moved independently but at the same time takes a lot of concentration, and the blind must focus hard to prevent themself trying to predict what the guide will tell them to do.

The guide uses the gentlest of touches, at times only the fingertips.  This takes practice - at first the guide is tempted to try to force the movement, but this may knock the blind off balance. The guide has to feel when the blind has reached the full extent of their movement, and they need to trust the blind to communicate this to them.

And the blind needs to be aware when they reach the full extent of their movement, or they lose balance.

Moving different parts of the body gives very different styles, intensity and quality of movement.  The arms free flowing, light.  The body strong, more restricted, mechanical.  Head movements are odd for the guide, as they are difficult to predict.  For the blind, head movements are destabilising, taking away sense of direction and place.  This could be very pleasant and relaxing.  Or it could be unnerving.  

For no doubt many different reasons.

The two spiders take it in turns.  Swapping the roles of blind and guide.  Each time discussing what has happened.  5 minutes for each turn.  After all, this is a scientific experiment.

Part two.  Blind Dancing

We move on to the next stage of the game.  Blind dancing.

We each give ourselves a task, based on what we found difficult last week.  Be more fluid when dancing is one, the other is to be more aware of the other (empathic) when guiding.

The feet become unrooted, and the blind is given permission to interpret, and, within the direction set by the guide, to respond not robotically, as in part one, but as a creative partner.  Here a balance is needed, between being guided, and following ones own "wanting" in terms of movement.  Or as a guide the balance is between giving safety and direction, and allowing freedom of expression.

It's a bit like a real life relationship where people negotiate their way through the many roles and purposes that come to us.

For me, being a guide was a enjoyable when the dancer correctly interpreted my purpose.  If they tried to take more control than I was comfortable with, I found myself getting frustrating, and trying o force my will onto them.  This reflects my constant battle with my need to be in control. I should do more of this, and maybe learn to enjoy the feeling of watching the dancer dance their own dance, with me just giving a little touch here, and there, and keeping safety.  This is like the role of a parent.

Being the blind dancer was exhilarating.  I felt very safe with my guide, who was much bigger than me and very patient.  I could move very freely, spinning, turning, bending, back and forth, with my eyes closed the whole time and not once did I worry that I may collide with a piece of furniture or a wall.  

And indeed I didn't.

At the end of the session, I felt very relaxed and peaceful.  I still do now, writing about it.  It felt very therapeutic.

My fellow researcher/dramaturge agreed.  

It also felt like a journey for our personal relationship.  One of getting to know each other through the body and movement, and through the themes of trust, responsibility, compliance, expressiveness, leadership, safety ...

And the second part of the session differed from the first in that the blind became uprooted; allowing a greater freedom of movement and thus expression and also a greater risk, and also increasing the responsibility of the guide, and also the potentiality of purpose of the guide.

A question comes to mind ... is greater movement necessary for greater expressivity?  Maybe this is something for future explorations.

Building Physical and Emotional Awareness of Self and Other

Two people in a room.  They each focus their awareness on their centre of weight and balance. Feet slightly apart, back straight, bum slightly tucked in, you know the drill.

A conversation ensues about whether it is relaxing to hold the arms as if one is hugging a tree.  One thinks it is.  The other thinks it induces stress.

After a while they agree to differ.

The Brain/Body Game
They play a touching game.  The aim is to work the body around the centre, becoming very aware and sensitive to each part, and aware to outside forces working on the body.

One stands in this neutral (minus tree hugging) position.  They close their eyes.  The other, gently, touches the first and slowly pushes their body.  The first person doesn't know which part of their body will be pushed, but must respond by moving in the direction of the push, as much as they can, without going off balance.  This is done many times, the hips, legs, arms, bottom, back, shoulders, legs, neck, face and head are all moved by the first person, in response to the gentle push by the second.  At the end of each movement the body is returned to rest position.  In a sense, they second person acts as the brain that orders the movement of the first person.  The more sensitive and responsive the first person is to the touch of the second person, the freer, easier, and smoother is the movement.

This is building several things; body awareness, other awareness and sensitivity, complicite, balance and focus in movement, trust, co-operation and communication of purpose (as the second person must be clear in their instruction).  It is also extremely relaxing, as after a while the pair learn each others rhythm, range of movement and style of purpose.

It will be interesting to watch others doing this when we have the full group.

Variations of this included moving different parts of the body at one time, for instance both arms, or shoulder and hip, or the second person touching the first person with different parts of their own body, e.g., the head or the hips.

We found that the instruction was clearer when the second person started the movement before the touch occurred.  Also when both participants, focussed on the whole body, and was prepared to move the whole body in response to the touch, rather than just the immediate part that was touched.  it was important for the knees to be relaxed and the feet to be firmly rooted.

Blind Dancing
In a second game, the first person closed their eyes, and was led in a dance around the room by the first person.  Involved a lot of trust, as unlike the first game, in which the first person was firmly rooted, this one involved travel.  Again the body should be relaxed, to give the appearance of a smoothly flowing dance.  It involves body awareness over a larger distance, and a greater variety of movements is possible.  Again, this can be very relaxing, as long as the two participants are very aware of each other, the second is able to give clear and reasonable instruction and the first is able to be sensitive to the instruction and trusting.

Can be a challenge, but worth working on this one.

Mirroring
finally, and to end the session, the two play the mirroring game.  Taking it in turns, in a non-pre-defined format, they each lead and follow in the mirroring.  occasionally, they each manage to lead with one body part, and follow with another, simultaneously.

Messages are communicated and themes shift in travel as a voiceless story is told through the actions of the mirroring, the pair are having a conversation, responding to each others lead by offering their own interpretation and response.  Themes are around comprehension, communication (non-verbal), clarity and focus.  Awareness of whole body of self and other.  Reflecting levels of tension, and themes of emotion, comedy, intrigue, horror, suspense, being prepared for whatever may happen next.

These three activities took place over a 2 hour period.  It was a much needed and deeply relaxing session.

I am looking forward to working more with these themes of building physical and emotional awareness of self and other in future group sessions.

Revisiting the Body

I am not facilitating.

Konnektiv is being reborn once again.

We have a new facilitator - at least for now.  One of the regular members, Merv.

Thanks Merv.  I'm off the hook.  And you are on it.  Ha!

We have a new place - Doxey Hub.  This has been a huge part of the last few months of proceedings, and partly why I haven't been blogging.

We have lost our website.  We have lost a committee member, two drama group members, gained some friends, some collaborators, and now we are rebirthing ourselves, as a new and returning to our core values, at the same time.

Wednesday is drama technique night.  We learned about breathing into our tummy's, relaxing through tensing the body, and feeling the contrast when releasing the tension.

We played with moving different parts of the body, using simple movements, but very concentrated, so that every little millimeter of the move was deliberate and held tension.  Like the old Japanese actors, focussing the intensity.  It felt nice.  Difficult when moving fast.  It's nice to really think about a movement.  Moving becomes a pleasing experience, not just bumbling around thoughtlessly.  And to really think about breathing.

I find myself remembering to appreciate the incredibleness of life, and the miracle of breath and movement.  I don't know how I do these things.  It makes me feel a little bit crazy if I think about it too much, but I do like to be reminded, so life doesn't become too humdrum, and I start taking things for granted.

Part of the holding tension game involved balance.  We couldn't swing, jump or hop, in that sense, weight is fixed to the floor, and must shift through the bodily movement very deliberately.  That was a bit tough to get back into at first.  Then as I worked with a simple sideways leg movement, raising and lowering in turn, repeatedly, it became smoother and more fluid.  The rest of my body learned to stay focussed and still.  Then it became more like fun.  Like a child learning a new trick.  As I got better at it, I started to feel quite proud of myself, in a small way.

Later, walking around the room, we experimented with having 2 different levels of tension in our bodies, apparently this is what Charlie Chaplin did.  I held my lower body tense and upper body more relaxed, it was interesting,  forcing a very strange walk indeed.  I held my torso stiff and tense, and allowed my legs and arms to be fluid, flapping my arms and bending my legs.  This was great, it made me laugh.  

Later still, we played invisible tennis.  We are starting to get the hang of this now.  It is better, we found, to quite rigidly stick to the rule of turn taking.  One person does a move, the other 'returns it', then has it returned back to them, this carries on for some time.  Everyone has their own style of movement and response, sometimes one person will lead for some time, the other tending to react to them, then the second person will decide to do something different, to change the story.  Two people together have a different style of movmement again.  So each pairing developed their own unique characters and story.

All of these games and activities are designed for two purposes - to increase body awareness and control, and to increase inter person sensitivity within the group.

Autumn Leaves - 3rd October 2013

Autumn.  A new season.  As 2013 begins to decay, the new academic year begins.  Hopeful students embark on new courses, eyes shining, pens full, pages empty.  Leaves begin to fall off trees.

A drama group of people who know each other well meet up as arranged, as is now usual, at Gnosall Community Fire station.  They share news.  Each has stories to tell.  It is already getting dark outside.

I'm the facilitator.  I facilitate.  Sometimes I don't know what I'm going to facilitate until it happens.  Plans go awry.  Sometimes, and this is a total secret; I don't have a plan.

We talked about Autumn.  There's a start.  I ask people to walk around the room, and think about the autumn, saying all the words they could think of that describe Autumn.  "Leaves"  "Chilly"  "Wind" "Boots" "Dark"  "Acorn". The words come out randomly, in flurrys, like falling leaves, layering, making little heaps.

We are beginning to immerse ourselves in the themes of this season.

Next, I ask people to perform a movement to go with their word, everyone is to reflect the movement back.  Now everyone is beginning to act as a group.  The words come out one by one.  We have time to focus our concentration on each word, and to  internalise what it means, physically, so it is more than just a string of letters.

Now I ask the group to stand at one end of the room, and one by one, each make up part of a group image, saying their own word, and creating an accompanying sculpt.  Now other things start to appear, "squirrel" "mud"  "boots" "rain" "hedgehog".

At times members come out of the picture, and gaze in on it for a while, before joining it again in a different role.  The picture changes, morphs, stories come and go.

I change the task once again.  An image gives itself to me.  A pile of multicoloured fallen leaves.  I ask  each member of the group to become a leaf.  They all describe which leaf they are - oak, chestnut, willow, beech, a green leaf and a fir cone.  I tell them to imagine they are hanging on a tree.  What is the tree like?  What is it like on this tree?  What can they see?  What are the other leaves like?  What about animals in the tree?  What can they see when they look down?  Are they firmly attached to the tree?

After some silence to consider this, I move the story on.  They begin to change colour.  Slowly the stem that is holding them to the tree is wearing away.  They know they are soon to drop to the ground, leaving the tree.  How does it feel to know that they will be leaving the tree?  

A little more silence, and then I describe the last few strands of stem breaking.  The leaf falls.  How does it fall?  How does it land? 

The group are lying on the floor.  A heap of leaves.  Multicoloured.

Night falls. An owl hoots. It is a warm night.  It rains, quite heavily.  The leaves get wet.  In the morning the sun comes up, and they begin to dry.  As they start to dry, they start to notice each other.

________________________

At this point the group all look round, noticing each other.  I divide them into pairs.  In the pairs, they share their stories, about their life in the tree, the moment of leaving the tree, and how they feel now that they are lying on the floor, in a little pile of leaves.  I let them know that they will be reading each others stories, and tell each person to let their partner know the three main things that they should remember in their story.

After some time in preparation.  The group are all lying down.  They take it in turns to read their partners story, in this way;  in random sequence, one member says "Once upon a time..."  At this point, their partner gets up, and hears their leaf-life story being read, whilst they move through the events physically.  One by one each person's story is told.

_____________________________________

We spend some time reflecting upon the experience, of telling, sharing, hearing.  The conversation changes.  Someone notices with regret that we didn't include the Yew tree.  We talk about the Yew tree for a while and I suggest that the group can make one.

Everyone lies in a ball on the floor.  Slowly they get up, and move in towards each other.  They twist their legs around each other to form a great big trunk.  Then they stretch their arms out, slowly, in all directions.  this forms a single large Yew.

I ask someone to find a poem about a Yew tree on their mobile phone, she finds one - by Sylvia Plath.  Group members take it in turn to read the poem, as the rest of the group forms the single tree.  This is done three times, each time the tree grows closer, legs more tightly tangles, arms finding smaller holes to stretch out through.  We form a hot damp knot of humans, all heartbeat and breathing.  there is some giggling, though this reduces over time.  

______________________________________

As nature prepares for the long winter sleep, Konnektiv start to plan our next season of activity.  More changes are afoot.  Big changes.  It's going to be an interesting time.

 The Moon And The Yew Tree By Sylvia Plath

This is the light of the mind, cold and planetary
The trees of the mind are black. The light is blue.
The grasses unload their griefs on my feet as if I were God
Prickling my ankles and murmuring of their humility
Fumy, spiritous mists inhabit this place.
Separated from my house by a row of headstones.
I simply cannot see where there is to get to. 

The moon is no door. It is a face in its own right,
White as a knuckle and terribly upset.
It drags the sea after it like a dark crime; it is quiet
With the O-gape of complete despair. I live here.
Twice on Sunday, the bells startle the sky --
Eight great tongues affirming the Resurrection
At the end, they soberly bong out their names. 

The yew tree points up, it has a Gothic shape.
The eyes lift after it and find the moon.
The moon is my mother. She is not sweet like Mary.
Her blue garments unloose small bats and owls.
How I would like to believe in tenderness -
The face of the effigy, gentled by candles,
Bending, on me in particular, its mild eyes. 

I have fallen a long way. Clouds are flowering
Blue and mystical over the face of the stars
Inside the church, the saints will all be blue,
Floating on their delicate feet over the cold pews,
Their hands and faces stiff with holiness.
The moon sees nothing of this. She is bald and wild.
And the message of the yew tree is blackness - blackness and silence.

Secret Goings on and Photos from the Past

It's all gone a bit secret here at Konnektiv, because we are finally working exclusively and deliberately on The Machine, our streetside humanoid installation that will bring delight and wonderment to the heart of our dear town on September 7th, the date of Stafford Arts Festival.

We have been trawling the internet looking for interesting bargains to be had to embellish our costume.  We are seeking novel interesting and very economical ways to create the half machine half madness performance.
Also the fortune cards.  They will be very very special, and a wonderful thing to have, for anyone who has a spare £1 coin rattling around in their pocket.  It's not much to ask for such a thing of great beauty and magic.

As always, we incorporate many different art forms into our performance, here we have the drawn image (art), we have the art of sound (percussive, shrieking, hissing, general strangeness in a machine like way that explodes into a fireworks night of cacophony), we have movement, almost dancelike in it's ritual and precise display, then chaotic, clownish, bizzare, maybe a bit frightening.  (Grotesque laughter....).  And finally the art of the written word, as we draw on the souls of the six dimensions of time, to bring us the dreadful and wonderful predictions that will embellish our fantastic fortune cards.

And for now that is all.

Speaking of the six dimensions of time, here is a randomly produced photograph from our past, with a little story:

Here is the 3rd ever Konnektiv workshop.  Konnektiv started on 10th January 2011.  The members were Lauren, my mum, my daughter Sophie, and Sophie's then boyfriend, Josh.  Oh, and me of course.  The workshops were held at the Spiritualist church, which I was slightly apprehensive about initially.  In fact, the space ended up being lovely, and we had a really nice time there.  And it was free of charge, just what we needed as we had no money whatsoever.

Lots of time and events have gone by since those early days.  Many changes of venue, and a few different members (tho all those original ones stay in touch).  My mum was, and still is, living with cancer, other members of the group had their own health issues.  

From being a band of 5 people with a generously donated space once a week, we have now grown, we have several projects on the go, and currently meet 3 times a week. We provide dramatherapy and mental health awareness workshops for adults with mental health issues, drama for health for children and adolescents, as well as these, we produce performances, stories and generally fooling around in public places. Most excitingly, we are about to become the proud proprietors of a community hall in Doxey, Stafford.

There have been many changes in our group, and many more to come, watch this space ...

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